Fearing Abandonment; Yes,times are tough. There are so many distractions around these days from pick up artists to Tinder to OkCupid to attention seeking Sirens. These new age and not so new age distractions are the cause of the fear of abandonment in which a person is afraid of losing a loved one or a loved one’s attention. The Fear of Abandonment doesn’t come alone. It comes with it’s step sisters- Over possessiveness and Insecurity.
The worst case scenario of this fear of abandonment is a break up and abusive behaviour. These two cases can hurt you and/or at times can hurt your partner as well.

Here are five simple steps how you can fear abandonment

1.Don’t Trust Each Other.

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Trust is the cornerstone and the founding father of all relations from family to friends to  and more importantly lovers. The best way to cultivate the fear of abandonment is to not trust your partner. This lack of trust can in turn into suspicion over every single thing and this will give rise to Insecurity and Over Possessiveness which in turn will bring the fear of abandonment into your life.

2. Make Assumptions

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You have a fast working brain which makes decisions in fractions of seconds. This brain will help you in making quick and fast assumptions as to where your relationship might be going or what your partner is probably thinking or what he or she expects from you.



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The best way to make decision is to categories people into groups and types from whatever little is known about them and use this categorization and segregation to make decision. This decision must be applied to your friends and loved ones as well.

4.Don’t Cope Up With Your Emotions 

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Emotions are rushes of hormones and feelings that can take over you and make decisions for you instead of your rational brain. To increase your fear of abandonment let these uncontrolled emotions get the best of you.

5. Expect more.

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Finally,you need to forget that your partner is a human, just like you and can only do so much for you at a given point of time. To successfully adapt to the fear of abandonment ,set up unapproachable  expectations from your partner or friend. When the partner or friend doesn’t live upto those expectations, you can easily assume that they are not interested in you anymore and might be planning on abandoning you.

If you have understood the five step method, then you start putting them to use immediately. You will be surprised how many other things like depression and anxiety latch onto you along with the fear of abandonment.

If you liked this article share it with your pals, who might be fearing abandonment or don’t know it yet.

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Author: The Brown Nomad

Also published on Medium.

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