“Intelligence speaks but wisdom listens”,wrong! Most of us are good at speaking,give a chance we can speak all day and all night about any given topic, sometimes we don’t even need a topic , the art of small talk is really strong with some people and they usually like to take command of the conversation because it keeps them in control.
Most of us have no control over our lives, thus we try to gain control at least in speech. It doesn’t matter to us if we are really learning something or not from the conversation or if we are gaining something important. Our goal is to prove people that we know something that we have read on some shady website over the internet and some random facts which are backed by some pseudo-science. Now, we have put some effort and some time in gathering this information and people around you should know about this. Thus, you need to first ignore your ears, if there is a voice that needs to reach those ears it should only be yours. So, to be a bad listener here are some following steps.
1.When you listen,don’t just listen.
image cc:Jantoo Cartoons
This is the perfect time to take out that pricey cellphone of yours and see the funny cat meme your friend has tagged you. Your cellphone is an expensive one and while bringing it up and using it in the middle of the conversation instead of listening to speaker it shows how important and valuable that cellphone or that meme is to you. You don’t have to be curious about the topic, a lot of people usually talk about the same thing in the end. It is okay to miss out the entire conversation when you get the starting gist of it or what you assumed was the gist of it.
2. Don’t speak out,rather read the mind.
image cc: CartoonStock.com
When you are listening,or at least pretending to listen, remember don’t ask any doubts to the speaker. Just imagine whatever the speaker is trying to say in your head,correlate it to your best understanding and let the conversation go on.
3. Don’t look them in the eye.
image cc: Lingvistov on Twitter
Body Language is an overrated fad of the current era. Some fools say most of the communication these days is nearly eighty percent non-verbal. It is all a bunch of hooey. Remember the more distracted you look the more effort the speaker will put into the conversation, even if he doesn’t and gives up, it doesn’t matter because you weren’t really listening in the first place.
4. Talks in the middle of a conversation.
image cc :Pixabay
When someone speaks remember to speak in between. Look for the sweet spot when the speaker says something that you might want to disagree with or add something to and use it and the best opportunity or the perfect time to jump in to interrupt and criticize or any other fun ways you might what to spice up the conversation. Keep this phrase in mind, “If you wait,you are late”.
5.Forget what you have heard
image cc : Google Images
Now I was often told that we have two ears,one to listen and take in while the other to discard and forget. Don’t bother trying to recall anything that the speaker has said, if it cannot automatically be retained in your mind , it probably wasn’t worth it.
These five points will help you be a bad listener. This is the best way to lose a few people around you while you show off your half baked knowledge and fail to grasp anything else.
Good bye until tomorrow!
Author: The Brown Nomad
Also published on Medium.